25 Notes

ED & Racism

I don’t know about you, but I definitely think my ED was influenced and triggered by racism and homophobia. Looking back at the things that were happening in my life when my ED formed, it seems very clear to me that if I was white and heterosexual my ED wouldn’t have been as exacerbated as it was. I often think of eating disorders as diseases of silence. Instead of  reaching out to others to express our pain, we turn inward and try to deal with it ourselves with binging, purging, restricting, exercising, etc. You see, being a QWOC,  society tells me to be quiet. It tells me I don’t deserve to be happy, it tells me I am not allowed to have mental illness (and if I do, I am crazy), it tells me i don’t deserve treatment, it tells me I am weak for having mental illnesses, it tells me QWOC are not important and not worth time or attention, it tells me to keep my identities secret because they are sinful, disgusting, and unnatural. you see, if I had been born into a society that told me that every part of me is acceptable, valid, and important, then maybe I would have reached out for help in the beginning instead of years later. heck, maybe I wouldn’t even have developed an ED/SH. I think it’s a coincidence that this issue is coming up on your blog now, because I have been thinking about this for a long time. Very interesting topic.

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  4. queerwings said: I definitely stopped eating and started idealizing self-harm when under emotional duress because my then-partner’s homophobia/racism/internalized white supremacy made me want to sink into a hole and die because obviously I was invisible anyway.
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